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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Horny mallu

India is a horny country
No pun intended
today was no Horn day in Kerala
The Indian Medical association Cochin celebrated this by spreading awareness on noise pollution 
let me talk of the addiction of the mallu to his horn !
hes born with a finger on this button and all his emotions are expressed singularly by horning
his horny moments are plenty
The angry horn : this usually comes when he is overtaken ,or a pedestrian or cow or auto or cycle blocks his way ,this comes in starts and is sudden and loud
The frustrated horn : when there is a traffic block and Mallu is in a hurry which is usually all the time ,he just horns in fits and starts
the emotional horn : can happen with no cause as it arises from within and not from outside ,ususally when he fights with wifey in car or by his mobile phone he expresses his displeasure by horning
The joyful horn happen when mallu is cheerful this usually is long and low and one can feel the cheer
The lazy horn happens with no reason but mallu laziness in having to drive to work on a Monday after the weekend slosh
the hartal horn is risky one as it makes his vehicle a prime target for stones expect in two wheeler which the proleterait knows isn't feudal
The VIP horn is only for strutting politicians with real horns to announce their presence to the commoners
The holy horn is generally from church or temple goers who are late for the mass or pujas
The school horn happens from harried fathers and mothers going to drop their children in school
The Goondah horn is one of fury its usually followed by stopping vehicle and creating mayhem
The surprise horn is by funsters who love creating a start on the humble jay walker its done with stealth and smiles
so with all this addictions the mallu cannot live with his horns of course he will whenever he goes to Gulp
there he is never horny for they will circumcise his horns for good

Angel with a smile

Angel with a smile
It was January 1st .2000 a new century had dawned so had my return to oncology
After 14 years after my Radiotherapy specialization when I was into family medicine running our own clinic along with Premila and pretty well at that I was a bit apprehensive to go to work in a newly opened super speciality hospital all glass and chrome and shiny in the oncology hematology department for a legend among medical oncologists Dr .V.P.Gangadharan
Today 17 years later when I look back I would consider meeting him in Regional cancer center Trivandrum where I went for an observer stint was the turning point in my profession .
To work in Dr VPG s team is a dream cum true for not only was he the busiest oncologist this side of the Vindhyas he was a rare celebrity among doctors .
He was well known to many and his human nature was mentioned by all but he was a highly educated trained and intelligent expert in his field that his humility rarely could hide .
Among st his excellent team one person stood out like a beacon lamp
Yes a lady of the lamp
The smiling lady of the lamp
She was senior nurse in charge of Dr VPG s department and handled the most complicated and serious cases in the famous fifth floor of the hospital
 The patients there were a sprinkling of leukemia lymphomas solid tumors of all kinds most of them with multiple complications on complex treatment regimes with emergencies happening all the time .
The ward was extended into double its strength and it required an astute mind highly trained alert to emergencies amiable to stresses emotional crisises sudden tragedies coupled with moments of joy happiness
You name it we had it .
A microcosm of the world at large with its smiles and frowns , its happiness , its tragedies and a degree of skill and professionalism that produced wonders.
To be a general to an army of this nature ,to be a bridge between the patients ,and the doctors to serve them with love care concern and same time with knowledge was no easy task .
It required fortitude , perseverance ,hard work , honesty , and sincerity .
Phiomina sister had all this and more .
In the early days when a nervous me would embark on bone marrow punctures ,or try to get a lumbar puncture correct at first shot ,or even insert a hickman central line ,or puncture the pleura for pleural tap there was one smiling philomina sister goading me all along ,telling me Dr.Hari you can do it and I did too .
It was this cheer that comes by working with people whom you respect admire and become friends,
sister was my friend as we were almost same age i think .
Philomina sister had health issues even those days she had kidney dysfunction diabetes etc but there would be no trace of any of this on her face bequeathed with an eternal smile .
She was quick too whenever needed in emergencies and knew every single happening in the ward
There was a silent understanding and mutual respect between Dr Gangadharan and philomina sister beyond their friendly banter .
When it came to patients , sister knew with uncanny clarity what VPG Sir wanted .
I used to watch this silent communication between them akin to a pilot and a co pilot or a surgeon and assistant .
Dr VPG relied on philomina sister to manage his wards most efficiently .
I used to try to meet her in lake shore whenever i visited Cochin
I did a year back when sister told me her health wasnt very good but her smile was still there and her work continued .
Today I heard she was no more !!
This was a shock to me and i felt very sad at the loss of this dedicated woman ,a professional highly skilled charge nurse ,
a humanitarian of the best kind a mother and a wife to her family and an angel to thousands of Dr VPG s patients .
Fifth floor in Lakeshore would always remind me of philomina sister , her smile will always adorn its rooms , her angelic aura will cast a benign shadow on its children , her cheer would ever be with her team .
I can imagine how much
Dr VPG would miss his right hand
May her soul rest in peace
May all the goodness in her life be spread to her family and her patients
May we remember this angel forever .

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Dear deer

Deer meat can be slotted as exotic meat i think
Yesterday went with some friends to this legendary heritage chinese restaurant in Brunei .
It was tender and nice but to my selectively Indian taste buds would have been better as a spicy kerala style fry
Somehow the original authentic chinese food doesnt appeal to me with its bland sourness mild hint of sickly sweetness and no spice this side of timbuctoo
I prefer our indo chinese any day with its scollops of tomatoes onions and chilly powder or pepper
I need india in some form to make things perfect .
Once i had moose meat (theres a clan named moose in kerala not mentioning them !! )
This is like mux oxen a cross between bison and deer
I had this in Norway which incidentally has moose overbridges on highways so that they cross from one forest to other without becoming meat .
My wifes cousins husband an young Norwegian doctor cooked an authentic kerala style moose curry for us whic was awesome with soft succulent bread to beat the freezing cold then .

Once wandering in downtown Sydney I saw a burger shop with pictures of kangaroo burgers
Had one promptly .it didnt hop on me but behaved  as good as any self respecting chicken burger would .
Ages back in the thatched hut of a kumily eatout amongst the increasing fogs i tucked into exotic jungle birds with some fiery liqour along with my college mates
The memory is as hazy as the weather that day in those wuthering hieghts for the liquid concotion surely hit me more than the fowl birds did !
In a dinner in cochin once in a friends house i  was asked to name a succulent meat
it was the poor rabbit of course
I love animals becos they are so tasty

But i really dont like those slimy creepy creatures which the far east like to indulge in like those insects worms frogs snakes etc nauseating indeed .
So Iam wary of street food in China which iam yet to visit Thailand Korea and the like .
As far as Japan is concerned Sushi is squishy to me and sashemee is not for me .
After knowing fire why should we hark back to the days of uncooked food our poor naked caved ancestors ate with gusto because they hadnt a choice .
Give me meat cooked slowly over time on a wooden fire its juices shining in the red oil which mightnt be good for my middles but excellent for my happiness .
Look at the variety indian cuisine has
Its just mindblowing
Every state every region every village every house has its story to tell it has its secret recipe of taste unheard of
Its just like indian music with infinite possibilities
The state of someone spoilt with this depth getting exposed to simpler alternatives is depressing
Of course i do prefer western burgers steaks and well made sausages
Nothing to beat European pastries and ice creams but the rest hand it over to India
Even the Gods know it

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

More Indian than you think Lufthansa

It was 2012 and I was booked to travel in a Lufthansa all Business class flight to Munich from Dubai on my way to Stockholm capital of Sweden to attend the European society of medical oncology annual conference .
Though I had traveled in business class flights several times this was the first time I was going to be in an exclusively Business only class provided by Lufthansa and I was looking forwards to the trip .

My wife was also coming to the meet with me but had booked an Emirates Airlines flight to London and was coming from London to Stockholm,
So we parted at the airport gates in Dubai and I was near gate of Lufthansa departure ,

Suddenly I got a phone call from my wife who told me she had been asked for an UK Visa as she had to transit in London ,she  did not apply for one as it was only transit but it seems there was a new rule even for a transit Indians needed a visa if in London which we both felt was absurd and unfair as we were not informed of this earlier ,by this time I was repeatedly asked by the  Lufthansa ground staff to kindly board the flight immediately as most passengers had got in !

My wife told me to  carry on and that she would try to get another flight via Europe if not she would cancel her trip !!

We had already planned to go on a days trip to Norway as my wifes cousin was there and now it looked all our plans had gone awry ,I was very upset at the turn of events and getting into the much awaited plush aircraft and settling down to a comfortable seat never registered on me ,I was sour and glum .
Soon the hostess turned up and gave us hot towels refreshing soft drinks and had come around asking for our choice of drinks ,though I did sip a wine my mood was definitely not in it .
There was a very Teutonic looking young steward and since I just had to open up I asked him which other flights were possible to reach Stockholm if one couldn't go through London and trying to tell my grievance but he was so gruff in answering that he did not know and just walked off ,

I was shocked and angry at his behavior which I felt was positively rude and as I was already sad this literally brought me to tears ,I was furious and wanted to have a show down immediately with what I thought a most arrogant uncouth staff who  was racist  in his behavior .

But somehow Indians have always been to taught to step back when in anger and never take decisions and i knew from past experience that this was always a wise move so I just kept quiet though very angry and very hurt .
I managed to just nibble the delicious  food and when the hostess asked me if I wasnt well i just nodded as I was fed up with all of them .
After a tired nap I woke up
it was already late night and I had to use the toilet and when I reached near the toilet I found the steward and other hostesses talking in the pantry ,I felt I should tell what I had in my mind and  find out why he behaved in that manner   ,
I felt I deserved an answer so in a very calm tone I asked him why he behaved so when I had just asked him a legitimate question ,he looked confused and said oh sorry sir didn't mean so and I just left it and cam back to my seat .
I thought and finally he just ended it with a sorry mouthed !

After some time I was again drifting off to sleep  when I felt the steward sliding into the empty seat next to mine

sir I am extremely sorry to have behaved so I really was terribly busy which isnt an excuse to have behaved so please tell me your problem  let me see in what way I could help you which is the least I can do for you !
so I told him all that happened he again apologized and said I understand sir let me see what I can find out for you ,after some time he came back and told me that my wife could get a flight via Amsterdam if she could speak with Emirates and once again sat with me for a long time listening all I had to say .

of course things did work out as my wife could get alternate flights without much loss and we did make our trip to Norway as planned and my Lufthansa steward did give me the  peace of mind by his concern and all ended well .

It was my Indian nature that helped me to  not react when angry immediately and it also made me realize that ones perception of another could be colored by misconceptions and the steward turned to be a very concerned and sympathetic young man instead of being a racist I thought him to be .
when I heard of Lufthansa now going the Indian way i was reminded of this incident and I only feel more happy as Lufthansa staff would only do better as they are always concerned and caring .

Friday, April 07, 2017

The MP in the baloon

The one way ticket

The man beats only with slippers
Rarely does he use his flippers
He loves travel and to fly
The next best thing he does is to lie

He never imagined Air India would dare
To bar him from flying like a mare
He is after all a member of parliament
 Arent MPS angers meant to be vent

He now has to go in trains
Even first class is full of pains
He needs to fly with no care
Since he never pays any fare

So gaikwad bought a baloon
He is neither a fool nor a bufoon
All he needs is some hot air
A politician without that is rare

So our man got into a ballon and crouched
His soft paunch got stuck and he ouched
There was no soft hands to pat him now
No hostesses to look at him and wow

He then passed some hot gas as usual
But that made the baloon swell
And up above the skies he flew
He needed no air india or crew

The baloon went up and up with no stop
Gaikwad wondered if he was in a trap
He got worried and he had no one to beat
His face became red like a roasted meat

He pulled some strings
Baloon shot up like with wings
And after long time he reached the moon
And there the MP lived ever after like a loon

Doctors and lawyers

3.42 crores ie 34000000 for you
No itsnt any annual budget of a panchayat or district its legal fees of a top ranking octogenarian lawyer who charges
2200000 INR for an appearance like Shah Rukh Khan or Aiswarya Rai may do ,but lawyers have better fun they hardly need to sweat it out or dance away like those stars !
They appear in courts  where most of the time the cases are adjourned and judges go off for summer holidays till the next time .
I still have a pending case of a road accident when driving a scooter two decades back was unfairly hit by another bike man by now my compensation should run in crores sic i really do not know if my lawyer who promised me stars is still alive
Of course iam not grudging lawyers at all
 this example of huge fee is for a top notched lawyer and the fee is being paid by the chief minister of Delhi the man with an unbridled tongue an addled brain and most conniving by nature  in this side of the Ganges who is  involved in a case where he had shot of his scarf covered badmouth as usual .
Of course the Kejariwalas of this nation will pass on the fee to the foolish voter of Delhi who made him what he is and all are happy except the state which would lose this amount which could have been used for a crowded filthy overfilled Government hospital in Delhi where sleepless doctors work their asses off for an ungrateful society and are beaten up for their pains and grudged for the paltry salary they get and expected to serve the society with noble intentions and gratitude to the Government for having been given the honour of studying under the auspieces of its treasury at a pittance in a Government medical college but the  same  cannot be applied to  a lawyer who studied in a Govt law college as hes accepted by the great Indian public as not being in a noble profession and can afford to make his crores or take his summer holidays or drag cases for decades .

Lawyers can strike to fight for demands the judges feel but doctors no way

Doctors should  nobly bear getting hit for their troubles
They need to go to villages to serve where they may be carried off by a tiger while on their morning excretions in friendly neighbourhood forest or their children can study in local patashaala
 being noble they better do so
Doctors dare not strike
Imagine then who will treat the brain lumbagos of people who pass such judgements
The quacks

Cloud Sketcher book review

The Cloud Sketcher by Richard Rayner is the book i read last .
It was Ayn Rand the legendary novelist in her fountainhead who immortalized Roark as an architect with a difference .
Roark is one character etched with so much finesse he stands out as strong and unique as his buildings for posterity .
Here too Eric Vannaven a Finnish Architect gets the same superhuman treatment by the author.
It al starts in Finland during those dark days of spreading Bolshevism from Russia in 1917 Erics father a hard core communist whose attachment to his son was a mixed one of dominance and love ,having lost his mother in a fire the small boy maimed in the same fire with a big scar on his face and lost an eye too is a dreamy lad living in those harsh times with a strange father
A picture of a new invention an escalator fires the imagination of the boy for tis machine and his mind is full of tall buildings and escalators to go up on them .
He becomes an young man and takes part in the civil war fighting with the whites for the utter disappointment of his father in hiding ,his passion for his child hood girlfriend never vanishes even though she marries his friend who dies in the war and she then migrates to the USA to become a popular photographer,Eric too becomes an architect and goes on to build one of the finest churches in Finland a structure which brings hope to the post war scenario of a developing Finland far from Russians yoke ,he gets married to Anna a fellow architect and they have a son but he realizes his heart is till on his katrina in the US,Anna knowing this allows him to travel to US knowing he would never be back ,
Eric starts from the scratch working in a high rise with a crew and none knew him as  a renowned architect till the day he wins a price for a new high rise and then he rises up gets in touch with katrina who is now married to a rich and old business man ,a nexus with the mafia and finally the shooting of katrinas husband the covering up of the foul deed with the help of the don and in the end the by now very famous architect who has created Manhattans biggest skyscraper falls to the bullet of one of his bete noirs .
the plot may sound like  a bad masala movie from Bollywood but its the treatment hat counted the descriptions of the buildings the aspirations of an architect and how he reaches the pinnacles both in reality and figuratively
good book indeed

Visaranai tamil film review

Tamil film visaranai or interrogation got an award from a Venice film festival for the best human right violation film .
its based on a true story written by one of the four victims of police torture and framing
 the book is titled lock up ,
the rest three were killed ,
the lone survivor and author now is an auto driver is also a human right activists who fights for under trials
we have always heard that the police in India have their own rules to close cases and pressure from politics and the rich and influential does make them frame innocents at many times

 the incidence of such framing accounts to almost 30 % according to a study
,the world inside those lock ups and what happens under cover of legitimate police interrogations is is a mystery not easily uncovered but whispers do tell us a lot
this movie is a frightening account of what could happen  with unlimited police power
A trifle disturbing to view a world which we know nothing of !!

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