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Saturday, August 07, 2010

Clash of the Titans












They say it is every mans fantasy to have two wives ,of course the barrage faced would be twice indeed !

After coming to UAE I have two ........to help me in the housework

Before you gasp , let me hasten to add that both are safely men .

Again before you gasp ! and start supecting things ........

One is for cleaning the house and the other is for cooking my food

The cleaning boy comes weekly twice ( moonlighting for a few extra dirhams )

He is from somewhere near Trichi in Tamilnadu ,working in Alain in a small restuarant he was referred to me by my neighbour





he has been a very trustworthy and reliable person ,

he has a key to my flat and comes when he has time ,this mostly twice a week and it is a pleasant feeling for me to come back to a neat squeeky clean flat with the cleaner nowwhere in the vicinity.

Gopal was honest ,and would not touch a coin found on the floor or anywhere else

He also had great tricks up his sleeve ,

Once my flat was invaded by an army of small pests and he brought a brown paste which he smeared in some places and by the next day there was no living thing in the flat except me

Of course Gopal had no tricks for many pests who used to drop in for a chat

The other man in my flats life was Pillachettan ,

This archetypical middle aged balding malayalee from Ambalapuzha worked in my hospital as a plumber ,

He too was a honest person ,as honest as they come

one day he homed in to me in the hospital as a bee to a flower and asked me

" saare saarunu cook venno ? "which in my lingo means " do you need somebody to cook for you Apparently I had no starved look for attracting the attention of a part time chef like him ,

never had one ,on the contrary some say these days I look like a fattended pig ready for the slaughter ,So it was not the appearance which attracted his attention to me ,

Probably it was the innate sixth sense that comes to cookers of food to lovers of the daily bread

One thing I love as much as writing is eating !

of course you cant expect me to confess my other likes in a blog ..........please rest not your imagination let it travel far and wide

To make the long story short Pillachettan was anointed without fanfare as my official cook on that great day as he recounted his culinary skills ,

Many days he would go off to my flat by afternoon armed with my key when I was still in the hospital and in an hour or two do his magic

he would fill my fridge with delicaies to last for a couple of days .

All fine

everyone happy

But one day the inevitable happened

The clash of the Titans

It so happened (as I heard later ) that Gopal was furiously cleaning my bedroom when he heard a key click and someone opening the front door ,

with a surfiet of dishum dishum movies Gopal like anyone from Tamilnadu felt he was Rajinikanth in such situations and so quitely slid into James bond mode to have a look .

He found a capped fellow slinking into the kitchen ,drinking a cup of water removing his shirt and start cutting onions !!!!

He had never met pillachettan and had forgotten my telling him that that such a character would occasionaly grace the place

Gopal was hard put to place any burglar who would cut onions without a shirt as soon as he entered a house

Maybe thieves did such acts of faith as a good omen before they start thier hard work

Gopal was not one to ponder over cut onions by crooks during crisis times

He just armed himself with a convinient stick for he knew the other guy had a knife in his hands and would be as pleased with a neck to place it instead of an onion .

Daay yaruda neee daay ( who re you ? )

"Ente ammo "this from a surpirsed Pilla ,

having grown up with Yakshi stories in his childhood Pilla was startled at this apparition in front of him who was swinging a stick

nee arruda ? kallana ( who re you ) are u a thief ?

Nee kallan nente appan kallan nente pattan kallan this from Gopal who would leave no stone unturned when it came to his family and its honour

They stared at each other for a long minute before they did anything

There was tension in the air and static crackled

distant thunder was rumbing in the desert sands

suddenly pillachetan had the wisdom of age to say

Dey nee gopala alle ?Saaru paranju ( sir told me about you )


And thus it all ended in a great show of camaraderie between my two worker bees as the identity crisis blew over with better introductions

And so this ends the story of the clash of my titans

4 comments:

Nebu said...

Beautiful, Hilarious. Thank God Gopal didn't hit Pillachettan before asking him :)

Maddy said...

that was great - i can imagine the scene and the faces of gopal and pillachettan..when they came face to face..pilla saying eda kalla pandi - and gopal saying intha thiruttu malayalathan..

harimohan said...

yes nebu and maddy
of course i made some artistic exageration to add juice u see

raj said...

hey hari, your flair with language and FOOD has always been known....hahaha.... good one...only my question is are u competing with that guy which was seen in the end of your blog???!!

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