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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Goonda files

Keralites always love shortcuts ,one could always find custom for goat farming ,teak investment and other such bizzare invsetment options ,the mallu wanted hard cash the easiest and laziest way possible .
Militant labour was one such excellent career option for many youngsters
the climate of zindabad howling and Hartal declaring was ideal for this .
Any new venture in the state would find a flag implanted on it shortly and then the fun would begin !
it was always a sure fire winner with no shot fired .
Bloodless revolution


Attimari or qouting abysmal charges for manual jobs is a Kerala speciality ,discovered by the great founding fathers of united labour welfare .
This singular phenomenon provided bread and butter to many comrades with no sweat involved
After all qouting ones price when one was confident of its acceptance is a sure winner !
With this lineage of succesful schemes it was not long before Goondaism took over
Gods own country became something else again starting with G .
not much investment was required to qualify into this hallowed career option ,of course a good build and strong biceps is mandatory
foul language and swearing definitely helped ,one could get trained watching the right movies ,a sharp object was a must even whe used only for demo purposes .
the clientiele is far and wide with even corporate banks requesting Goondah services .
Goondaism is run on strict management guidelines these days .
Territorial independence is literally a legal right
confabultaions ,consultations and even conferences between goondahs and the society at large are part of the job .
Goondahs are untouchable in the right sense ( not the one Gandhiji fought for ) .
Thier responsibilities are wide and varied .
vacating premises ,eve teasing ,catcing eve teasers ,handling business rivalry ,tackling infedelity ,dowry ,family disputes ,and political rivalry ,
goondas have thier hands full and thus thier bank accounts too .
An arrest here or there is an occupational hazard they face ,
moments of media glare when Goondahs peep from behind turkish towels over thier grinning faces ,publicity in TV channels which could signal a future in the movies ,a stint in the cooler could also be in the offing but it could be in style depending on thier stature .
Career counselling experts are seriously thinking of training in Goondaism as it becomes more and more structured
a Goonda welfare society ,pensioners /Goondas assn is a need these days ,
the needs of these hard working people after thier productive years is to be met thier medical insurance is a must as they are in a high risk job
Goonda recreation clubs are a real need where they can relax after thier daily dose of unavoidable volence no interference and a couple of fine swigs of thier favourite brew
with our great leaders themselves having strong backgrounds ,Goondaism is a sure hit as a career option in Kerala .
One could rise to become anything ,sky is the limit
to be a Goonda in Kerala today sounds a very a sensible option .
Goondeswara namaha ....



happy onam

5 comments:

raj said...

oh it's been heartening to see that we have got thugs in kerala having social responsibilities that may reduce the burden of the caretakers of the society, the police! soon we will be seeing the home minister giving away the 'kaayam-kulam kochunni' award for the best goonda! goonda raj zindabad!!

Sadasiv Swain said...

I think its a national phenomenon and as a social comment its quite updated. Every Indian - even rural ones- feels their presence but only keen observers like Hari can put it in such humourous words and phrases.

ravi said...

I think this should be published in all papers as it bring out the causes and effects of goonda raj in a humarous way .ravi

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