if only i could by sruthi menon

IF ONLY I COULD

If only I could mend my broken heart, it wouldn’t bleed so much. If only I hadn’t loved her so much my heart would not be broken. If only I had not met her in the first place , I would not have loved her at all . If only I ………. But reality often never follows one’s dreams & wishes , does it ? And the day I met her, I didn’t know she would break my heart.
She burst into my life one day as a little pup , a forlorn looking thing , eyes drooping , a picture of misery. My newborn baby brother was gurgling and cooing to get the attention of all his numerous aunts who were intent , I felt , on doing just that . I , a nine year old girl then , feeling rejected , disappointed, and craving for attention took to kicking a stone along the small lane outside my house until one fateful kick sent the rolling stone into the gutter. I was left stoneless and loveless . It was at that sad moment when I heard her whine for the first time and turned my head away from the gutter to see her for the first time. She did not look quite impressive, but her eyes , pleading and love – thirsty, left me with a feeling of pity. Ignoring her dirty ,flea bitten fur, I bent down and hugged her. Picking her up in my arms and taking her home, I decided to keep her as my pet but I never knew then that she would turn out to be my best friend.
I can’t explain how I managed to coax my parents to let Ruby ( that’s what I named “her” ) stay as my pet. I was overjoyed . Happy days followed . Everyone in my colony loved Ruby and looked upon her as a sweet , healthy , cheerful and friendly dog. Even though Ruby was sweet and friendly , any enemy would melt under her glare. The colony nicknamed “ Robber Zone” , used to be a popular hangout for robbers but just a month after Ruby arrived , robbers existed only in bedtime stories. In 4 years Ruby was a grown up dog , strong and sensible.
It happened one fine evening . The weather was bright and sunny, not a suitable day at all for such a thing to happen , and I was playing “ball” with Ruby when suddenly the ball bounced out of the lane and into the main road. Ruby , in her hurry to get the ball, ran into the road ,not noticing the speeding red monster of a bus coming down it . The world came to a standstill for me. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. I wanted to shout out “NO” but not a single sound could escape my lips. And then , it happened . The bus hit Ruby and sent her flying to the edge of the road and sped away , not aware that it had just crushed two hearts . I felt faint and my mind was drained of all thoughts . Gathering together the little bit of energy left in me , I ran to where Ruby lay, bent down , gingerly touched her blood covered fur and whispered, “Ruby…Wake up.”. But she just lay there , her eyes closed. I started shouting hysterically and in no time , my father and neighbours were crowding around Ruby and me. I looked up at my father, a doctor , and asked him, “ Papa … Ruby… what happened?”. He knelt down beside me, touched her chest and shook his head . Ruby had left us forever.
The first time I had picked Ruby up in my arms and brought her home, she was a shy little pup seeking my love and care and now , as I took her home for the last time, my face aghast with shock and the grief too much for tears to flow , she was a limp body, eyes shut , lifeless . The grief tortured my whole being and it tore my heart . I thought time would heal the wounds . But a year has passed since Ruby’s death and I have to say, my heart is still bleeding .


A short story by SRUTHI MENON ( IX C )
The Choice School, Tripunithara