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Saturday, October 31, 2009

My Beloved Garmini

I had a first look at the marvel called the GPS in Norway !

On a drive from Oslo to my wifes cousins place about 4 hours away, her hubby a young handsome Norwegian doctor was all ears for his GPS, and as the seductive female voice crooned and sheened the way to us I envied Andreas for this device !

" He does not need this ,he knows the way blindfolded but still he wants to hear her ,look at him all ears ! he is never so with me "grumbled his wife .

we chuckled and Andreas grinned like a chesire cat ,I love her seductive voice ,she makes me go !( thank God for that phrase )

" True True " me

"Baaaah you men " this from my wife !!

I decided immediately to buy one on my return ,I needed company on my long drives to Dubai or Abudhabi as I was alone in the U.A.E. and what better than a seductive voice cajoling you to take the left and not the right haaan ....

There were two more reasons ,one was Dubai had signboards planned by someone who had a pleasure in torturing souls who had no sense of direction and who dreamed of unsolvable riddles all the time ,

one could see signs here pointing within minutes in different directions and with the new flyovers and roads made it a maze for one who was not aware of the geography .

Born with an inherent directional disability I was all the more affected by this turn of events ,most of my forays to Dubai ended up in me giving frustrated calls to friendly neighbourhood cousins to save me from strange places where I had landed without my knowledge

Oh Lord forgive me for I know not what I do was usually my demanour in such tight situations .

A neurology friend commented that I should be having either an aplasia of the needed cells in the grey matter for directional capabilities , or an infarct in the right place or is it the wrong place.... I am confused !

not to cry over losses I looked forwards to a crooning seductive velvety slithery voice to soften my travels in the future .

Dubai here I come I thought , dont you try your tricks with me ,I have my lady with me ha

So I bought a nice Garmin GPS and specially heard her out ,she did sound nice but not seductive but just nice

I settled down for this ( wife was quite happy ,the Norway one was too se....... y ,this one is affectionate like your little sister ok ? )

no luck even with Garmins !! sob sob

so the next time I went to Dubai I was all spurred up ,I positioned my GPS and typed out my destination and lo she told me how long it would take for me to reach and till I got out of Al Ain city she was perfect ( Al Ain where I stay has wide ,orderly ,planned roads )

In the outskirts she bid me goodbye telling me drive straight for 85 kilometres and went into hibernation

she woke from her suspended animation exactly at 85th kilometre jolting me with a now keep left for 5 kilometre and turn right

man this is it now I could reach the stars I thought .

Once into the outskirts of dubai I was lost in the multi laned huge maze of traffic ,every way seemed my way ,

My Garmin was telling me turn in second exit in next roundabout and I was searching for the said roundabout ,

I then realised the Dubai map had not been updated and with the rapid changes happening there all roundabouts were literally extinct to be replaced by confusing ramps and flyovers and my poor girly GPS was as lost as only I could be .

look at the irony ...the guy even buys a GPS similar to him !!!

and so with a 1000 AED GPS with me I took my mobile to give my distress call to my living GPS my cousin

she croons nowadays you know my GPS I mean ................started liking me haan

do I hear you snigger ........


Ujwal Unni said...

GPS is such a boon. But it can make us quite blind to watch roads and remember the way as we would if we hadn't used one. Nothing more greater than the human brain, which can be trained to remember the route. But in the modern world and road's who is got the patience for this. We have to inevitably become slaves of this device to guide us to the right path and hope for the best. Though it ditched you once, can u still imagine to live without it? well thats your Garmin :)
Great post with some hilarious narration, as usual from u.

Kannan said...

Hi Hari, Good one on GPS. I like your last bit "look at the irony ...the guy even buys a GPS similar to him !!!" and that precisely describes my predicament. Being a Dubai resident for more than 10 Years I am still confused about the road maze here and can barely find my way from Springs to my Office at Bur Juman and back. If there is a new diverion or detour I invariably end up at Sharjah making distress calls to put me back on track.


harimohan said...

dear Ram
Great people think alike

Maddy said...

I have been moving so much that without my Tom Tom, I am lost..But they are quite fickle devices and obey Murphy's law all the time, taking us to wrong paces at the wrong times, but mostly OK...

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Meghna Nayar said...

So true... sat-navs here in the UK too have known to lead people to wrong and sometimes even non-existent routes as it doesn't get automatically updated (in terms of changes in roads/ routes) - can be a big pain when actually its meant to help one find the right way!

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