Singh Slaps Sree

Indian spinner Harbhajan Singh has been handed an 11-match ban from the Indian Premier League (IPL) after being found guilty of slapping compatriot Shantha Sreesanth

Harbhajan singh famously known as Bhajji would be regretting that slap on Shantakaumaran Sreesanth ,

costly one what with him losing a fairly big amount and a ban for 11 matches .

Sreesanth broken face swollen cheeks and pouring tears did give the impression of a soft southie getting it from a rumbustous brawnie panjabi ,

what else could poor sree have done he thankfully didnt do a Gandhigiri of turning the other cheek ,The Bhajji would have made a mess of it !

the sardars are known for this kind of language while the mallu is more happier with sarcasm in words ,remember the loudmouth Sidhu who had killed with a blow ,thank God Sreesanth didnt face him or he wouldnt have had to cry .

but what made me write this piece is hardly cricket ,it is something else it is the reaction of Kerala to thier blue eyed boy getting it in the face .

The whole state is gleefully sending mails how he deserves it ! and has been asking for it for a long time ,

see the mallu psyche they have fun when somebody falls !

just imagine what the Tamils would have done ,

Karunanidhi would have wiped his dark glasses and declared war on Punjab in his gritty chenthamil ,

Amma would have become a Durga and made Sasikala tie her hair into a bun before her swearing a la Kannagi ,

Rajani the boss would have flicked a cigarette into air and said "dey naan oru dhadava sonna noorudadava sonna madhiri "and when asked what does this statement mean in this context he would have said this usually goes for all situations ! it was an universal statement he made !

Take Maharastra ,( forget the fact that the Singh led Mumbai team ), if Sreesanth was a Marathi the Thackerays would have roared .

The uncle would order all Singhs to be sunk just beyond the gateway of India and nephew would have opposed it saying that Haji Ali was a better place and they would have fought on that .

If Sree was from UP Mayawati would have tried to find out if Sree belonged to the scheduled caste knowing he isnt she would have asked for reservation for slapped cricketers !

Deve Gowda would have demanded some land in Bangalaru for sree to lick his wounds and would have promptly swallowed half of it

Lalu would have released a special train for Sree to go home to with blinds in the windows and loads of tissue for wiping his eyes

Some central leaders would have said there is a foriegn hand behind Bhajis hand .

BJP leader Jaswant singh would have recited in his baritone voice "Slapping is an ergonomically driven exercise that reeks of poor diplomatic skills and its practioners are deemed examples of poor upbringing and cultaral sereptitude "and hearing is Advaniji would have escaped into the nearest toilet .

One expected the Kerala leaders to voice thier grievances more appropriately ,for example Pinarayi could have reminded Bhajji of Kannur and given him a warning

Achumamma could have blamed the bouregaise game cricket and its imperialistic demanour as the reason for the slap ,he could have told this never happens in say ahem communist China all this in chaste malayalam with a shrug of his shoulders ,

Karunakaran could have pointed out that all this wouldnt have happedned if his son was the sports minister and somebaody else the defence minister ,Guruvyoorappa !

but not a word from any of them

forget all that

Kerala the land of Bandhs didnt even order one !

it was there for the asking ,a ripe reason if any

a state where shutters are closed for reasons like Achumammas constipation or the leaders relief from one did not take up this chance !!!I cant believe it !

why why ? did the architects of bandh fail to react when their own was slapped on his smooth cheek by that brute from the land of five rivers ?

An enignamtic question indeed

please write to me if you have any answers .....

House boat bliss

The last time I was in a houseboat staying for more than three days cruising in the languid waters of the famed Dal lake in Srinagar was in 1983 ,with my classmates in medical college .

Terrorism had effectively killed any future hope of doing the same with the family in tow .

With Kerala offering a similar fare these days we planned to do a houseboat this vacation .

The Muthoot group dream cruise was recommended by a close friend working in it and we took the offer never to regret .

We alighted into the spacious boat at Pallathuruthy just away from Allepey on way to Changanasserry after parking our car safely .

Welcomed with fresh wet towels and cool tender coconut water we got into jùùour boat at 10am ,it had a portico with sofas ,table with a filled fruit bowl ,an AC bedroom ,a toilet fitted with a bathtub ,a small kitchen ,and upstairs two viewing balconies and a dining room .

There were three staff to cater to our needs , the chef was in his uniform and a wide grin ,two others were drivers and helpers ,friendly and at the same time giving us our privacy they were the epitome of service .

As we chugged away into the backwaters the sun was at its zenith ,appetising aromas drifted from the kitchen where Jose the chef was at his best as he concoted a typical Kerala lunch of Karimeen polichatu ,chicken ,sambar ,cabbage thoran spicy piclkes and crispy paapads .these were served with elan in the dining room ,we gobbled them up as the boat swayed in the wake of the waters .

After a small post lunch siesta we woke up and found a native boat anchored to the side of our houseboat ,it had fresh prawns for sale and we bought some and Jose took it into the kitchen to do his magic on it in time for dinner .

we later went in a small canoe along with other houseboat inmates to the smaller canals of the backwaters ,filled with green floating weeds the canoe traversed through the maze hidden from the sun bya canopyof trees ,houses and shops lined the canal so close to us and we could see people moving around ,toddy shops ,small schools ,children playing ,men going about thier work ,women cooking washing clothes .

how does it feel like people staring at you all the time I asked an old lady she grinned and said we dont mind it has brought us life and money .

True tourism has changed the face of Kerala to a large extent ,if only the Government creates a better infrastructure ,it would be a win win situation ,private enterprises have been doing thier bit though some of them do give substandard fare .the natural resources of Kerala is unique and God given but it has not been genuinely utilised ,countries with nothing much to show have better facilities .

We returned back to our houseboat and clambered inside .

We moved on to a wide waterway and anchored for the night as houseboats are not allowed to cruise after dusk for fishermen cast thier nets at night .

As the sun set gloriously ,rain was announced by darkening clouds ,we sipped our tea to the sounds of pelting rain ,breezy winds swaying coconut tops ,and the backwaters in the horizon of the fading light was a sight not to be forgotten .

the rains stopped ,crickets chirped ,waters lapped our boatside as we all sat with our legs dangling dowm watching the blinking lights of the houses in the coast ,the air was soft and romantic occasionaly broken bye the hum of the rare mosquito .

Jose announced dinner we tropped up like a starving army ,scenery sure creates appetite specially for people who dont need much to create that .

Dinner was exotic in candle light served by a hovering three ,the fried tiger prawns were golden and gorgeous chappatis soft ,dhal delicate and chicken crunchy .

Music wafted from the banks from a distant radio as Yesudas belted a very apt song of

ayyiram padaswarangal aluvapuzha pineyum ozugi as a lullaby for us to drift off to a restful slumber .

Morning saw us climbing to the viewing balcony at top to watch a crimson sun starting its day .

A hearty breakfast of fluffy white appams ,and spicy egg curry mellowed our disappointement as we forged back to our starting place .

It was a 24 hour delight indeed thanks to Muthoot dream cruise .

bigamous Baalu

Bigamous biographies of ministers in India does not make many heads turn ,

the penchant for polygamy goes down the ages with our kings outwitting each other in the size of thier harems ,thier wives and concubines were countless and faceless .

though with time things changed and we have settled down to monogamy with a monotomy bordering on the mundane ,our rulers still depict behavioural attitudes with vestigeal valour .

They need to perform like rulers of the bygone as they are todays princes .

In Tamilnadu particularly one cannot blame the angavastram clad poltician from following his thalaivars lifestyle and Baluus thalaivar has left no stone unturned in this matter ,so he can hardly condone someone following his pattern .

Rulers all over the world have been doing this take Idi Amin ,Yahya khan ,and many other dictators ,there are classic examples in our own parliament Ram Vilas Paswan the great saviour of the scheduled castes also has saved two women by marrying them !

this is no breaking news

look at our Gods ,

Lord Krishna with his 16000 is often qouted by polygamists ,he could do all his leelas in spite of them !

one need to look at the pictures of most other Gods with one godess on either sides enconsed in comfort .They look as symbols of love and peace and we look up on them dont we ? ( now dont come up with the inner meaning of all this i know i know ,this post is on ministers not on Gods )

but for the law , bigamy is a surefire hit with everyone and everywhere ..

In the land of female infanticide where the venerated Amma the former C.M introduced cradles to save hapless female babies from suffocating on grain pieces ,marrying more than oneof the speices (if one could manage that ! ) was not a social anamoly at all ,on the contrary it is social service and the Ballus and Karunanaidhis have done precisely that by marrying often so why grudge !.

It is the duty of the ruler to leave fruitful progeny to continue the act of ruling

( plunder is another word used in recent times )so these leaders had to procreate in plenty for the future of the land and could one do this by restricitng oneself to one .

Gimme Red said one advt give me wives say they !

what is two when the wives dont object ? why should somebody else get envious ? grapes are always sour if you dont get them

Again if any favouristm has been done it is in the larger intrests of the shareholders according to the honble

minister ,how concerned he is to thier welfare specially when most of the shares are from the families of his two wives .

so dear Express o please dont do your expose act on matters before going into the depth of issues ,

we know that our leaders always do everything with a cause

even marrying twice ! you know ......

Acrobats in the air

Empees and MLA s of our country find their true form in the air ,the moment they fly up in an aircraft their souls go into action .
The rarefied atmospheres hold good for them .
It wasn’t long before a famous minister from Kerala known for his farming activities and penchant for singing in functions extended his skills of feeling in the dark .
Our politicians are full of feelings as we all know but here this feeling was of a different kind .he sent feelers for the future ,as the lights dimmed for takeoff his genes did a tumble and his arms stretched forwards to feel the fair lady sitting in front ,ministers feel it is their right to feel their subjects and a honour for the subjects to get felt and so did our man but the reaction was immediate and unexpected,disaster courted him and his face fell ,all because of a feel that wasn’t called for .
Our minister was an expert in rolling out of tight situations and he did try to roll out of this too but the odds were against him and so he left his mighty kursi and retired to his estate to lick his wounds ,courtroom battles followed now all stock from his bag of tricks like accusing the victim was over and the he is still regretting his aerial adventure .

Yet another aeronautical avarice was commited by an Empee recently again hailing from Kerala ( Gods own you know ) this man of the people wanted to ride in the cockpit ,nothing wrong like any politician he wanted to be in the seat of action and as a honourable empee he felt it was his right to act out his desires whatever they are ! he never expected the pilot to object how could he ? after all the airlines was sarkari which meant he and his colleagues owned it and the glorified driver ( ahem ) pilot had no right to do what he did ,the empee who was booted out of the flight fretted and fumed .
He too fights his battle from the wells of the Parliament .how they work for the nation !!
Long live our Empees and Emelles !
Jai Hind