Vaikom temple 2020

 

Vaikom Sree Mahadeva shetram is in Kottayam district .

One of the oldest temples in Kerala its lingas are said to exist since Tretha yuga .

It has lot of stories and legends of origin and period of worship to fit in here .

Its described in Bhargava purana and Sanal kumara Samhita as Vaiyagrha puram  or Vayahreha geham .

As its lingas was found and worshiped by  Vaiyagrapada maharsi it was called Vaiyagrahapadapuram and later with time as Vaikom .

The association with Etumanoor and Kaduthuruthy temples also of lord  Shiva is remarkable and being equidistant from each other its said its 3 lingas which were consecrated at same time and its good to visit all 3 by afternoon .

We went to Vaikom temple only today as allowed respecting Covid protocols .

Its a huge temple with mammoth structures  supposed to be consecrated by Lord Parsurama himself at the very spot where one of  the three lingas given to  Khara an asura by lord Shiva for his devotion .

Khara carried one in right hand one in left and third around neck .

In this area the idols fell and could not be removed from  the spot

Khara knew it had to be left there so he requested a holy man Vyaghrapada to continue doing puja to the lingas 

He attained moksha too

Later Lord parasurama consecrated the three temples 

He gave it to Brahmin families to manage them 

Later Vaikom had 108 families to do this and they were divided as half into two factions .

One faction morally had upper hand and were more sincere and was with the king .

The leader of the other faction Njallal nampoothiri fought with them .

Nampoothiri spat on the nivedhiya or Gods offering to offend the rival faction .

Immediately a poisonous snake bit him he dropped in the ground crawled out through western door to die .

The door they say shut automatically with angry voice emanating from temple never to open it again 

The Etumanoor and Kaduthuruthy temples are other two spots of the dropped lingas .

Vaikom temple is vast with huge grounds arounf 8 acres  and being empty looks bigger .

The lord in Vaikom is worshipped in 3 forms daily Dakshinamoorthy in morning

Kiradha moorthy by noon and Dhatipanchakshari by dusk .

Its inner sanctum sanctorum is actually elleptical but looks circular .

Only a skilled craftsman can do that .

Its supposed to be none other than the famed Perumthachan himself who was its chief architect and creator .

The Sreekoil walls are decorated by kerala temple art and an ornamental lamp in the back .

The linga itself is 6 feet in height .

To see the deity one needs to climb six steps symbolic of shad vikaras or six emotions like kama ,krodha,'lobha,moha,madha mathsarya or thanthrik chakras as per thanthrik kalpanas .

The Mooladhana chakram,Swadhistana chakram ,Manipurakha chakram ,Anahsta chakram ,Visudhi and Jnana chakram .

On eastern side is the Manya sthana or big kitchen where Vilvamangala swamigal was supposed tp have seen lord Shiva as a brahmin eating Prathal or nivedhiya 

Today its the famous annadhaana to all 

The usually crowded temple was literally empty

We were allowed inside with covid protocol .

As crowds less we could pray well .

The roads around the temple too have lot of history in them .

Kerala was once called as pranthalayam or mad house by Swami Vivekananda when he visited it and felt disgusted with the caste discriminations and untouchability prevalent then .

Vaikom temple and roads around were prohibited for the lower castes .

It was in those roads that leaders and Gurus like  Sree Narayana Guru ,Mannathu Padmanabhan ,Dr Palpu inspired youngsters to protest against caste discrimination in famous Vsikam satyagraha along with our freedom struggle .

Mahatma Gandhi too requested  Maharani Sethu Laksmi bayi too remove the restrictions ,though she started the changes it was after the young Maharaja came to throne the famous temple declaration came to be a law allowing all Hindus regardless of castes into temples by his authority which as a regent the maharani did not have powers to do so .

Vaikatthu Astami is a very famous 10 day festival of this temple .

The drive too was pleasant but for a road block caused by an overturned lorry lying on its side after hitting an electric pole and breaking it .

By the time we returned the lorry was back on road straight though traffic was blocked still .

 

Thirunelveli Halwa

 Halwas are thickly deliciously wickedly tasty sweet dripping with ghee .

To me one of my favourite sweets 

Amongst the very many varieties of halwas  the king or queen shuld be the famous Thirunelveli Halwa .

Strangely this epic sweet originated in this hot Tamilnadu town all because of a north Indian Rajasthani settler .

In 1882 Jegan Singh one of the many settlers and business men of Tamilnadu went to his home town for a holiday .

When he returned he brought back a cook who amongst other Rajasthani food could cook an excellent Halwa and Jegan singh just loved it .

He started a small shop in the center of town with wooden shutters ill lit and mostly open in dusk to sell this Halwa .

They say it still hasva 40 watt bulb !

Slowly people started liking it so much the sweet even got Thirunelveli as its name tag 

Other shops too started selling with thier names and some like Shanthi sweets became popular too but not like the iconic irruttukada .

The very fact wheat is used for this halwa tells us its not a local delicacy in the predominantely rice eating region .

The wheat is cleaned in the pure waters of Thamarapani several times and allowed to settle down before its skimmed husk seperated and boiled

Sugar and plenty of ghee and other flavours added till it drips with ghee and tastes delicious .

The irrutkada or dark shop still continues to be so managed by the same family even today .

I used to know a family coming from Thirunelveli to Cochin for treatment in my hospital and they will bring this halwa faithfully  every time for me .

I had one of the best Thirunelveli  halwa from in a wedding of a family friends son .

Kailasam

 

This picture was taken in the North face of Mount Kailas .

The pilgrimage of Kailas ends with parikrama or holy circumambulation .

Hinduism as well as Buddhism along with Jainism and Bon religion native to Tibet believe Mount Kailas in Tibet

now part of China is the abode of Lord Shiva himself .

Strangely the mystique mountain had never ever been climbed in its life ,not to say attempts have not been made ,being shorter than Mount Everest and to a professional mountaineer it could have not been an impossible feat though not for untrained mortals but its a fact that all attempts have failed at some stage .

The will is lost they say

Its a huge mental hurdle and we couldn't take a step more

All i wanted was to come down

It was very emotional say the few who do inner parikrama who go near its foothills those who are hardy to face the icy glaciers crevices who are fortunate to touch its granite surface have burst into copious tears of joy of unexplainable satisfaction .

Forget that the very experience of circumnavigation of 53 km around the mountain by itself was completed only by around 30 % of those who reach its vicinity .

It takes 3 days of trekking ,most use horses and Tibetan guides who lead the horses,many walk .

Some Tibetans themselves who live in such terrain not only walk but walk prostrating continuously !

They take 2 months to do that .

Can you imagine that ?

Two months of bending falling flat on the rocky mountainous terrain in falling snow getting up doing it again .

If this isnt faith show me what is !

Kailas pilgrimage is a hardy one specially in the past .

It was only Indian ministry of external affairs who arranged them with batches selected every year taking into considering physical fitness and mental alacrity .

Many applied some got selected .

Between 1954 to 1972 no Indians were allowed into Tibet due to political fall outs and war with China .

The routes were directly from India through Lipulehk pass in UP ,the climbing of this pass itself was a very tough proposition .

After reaching Tibet one needed to travel overland through poor roads rough terrains and cold weather to reach Manasarovar lake and later Drachen town from where Mount Kailas could be glimpsed .

Later the Nathulla pass in Sikkim was opened up as an alternate .

Private operators in Nepal had trips from Kathmandu to Tibet over hills of Nepal by road or partly by helicopters .

This was quite hardy too and landslides were real obstacles expected .

Once crossing into China with a pilgrim visa one needed to go overland for 2 days to reach lake Manasarovar and Drachen .

Alternatively one could come to Lhasa by air through Beijing or by rail or by road quote a long one and from Lhasa to Kailas which is at other end of Tibet .

These alternates have made Kailas more reachable to people with lesser physical attributes and with greater comforts .

Most places specially in Tibet ,China have developed into medium size towns with plenty of good hotels infrastructure and markets etc .

One needed to stay on.the way to avoid altitude sickness which could happen of suddenly transported to say above 12000 feet and foothills of Kailas was more nearer 15000 ft .

Hence we took more than 5 days to reach Drachen the town after the serene lake Manasarovar from where Kailas could be glimpsed as an ethereal unreality and mirage its pyramid like exuberance shimmering in the golden sunrise .

Every human being whatever be his beliefs felt the vibrations as there were lot of pilgrims who came to see the place more as a travel spot and a hardy trek .

Thats fine perfectly for it is definitely not the usual Hindu temple or pilgrim spot .

Theres no temple anywhere in and around Kailas never had been nor idols .

There are Buddhist monasteries but no temples .

Its nature the stunning enthralling magnitude of a mystique mountain standing defiantly in magnificent solitude and much beyond any temple or idol .

It s beyond words to describe the moment one sets eyes on this rare sight as one reaches Lake Manasarovar and closer from Drachen where iys looming presence was closer in every gasping step we took .

The day of our parikrama came .

We were told that a bus ride of 14 km would take us to Yama dwar .

Lord Yama in Hindu mythology is the lord of death itself .

Dwar is opening in Hindi

As the bus panted up the brown Tibetian hillock we could see two huge hills with an opening and see mount Kailas still appearing closer but at least 20 km away .

It was in Yama dwar those who wanted to hire ponies or horses and Tobetian guides could do so .

It was all well organised and one needed to pay 30000 INR as Chinese currency or American dollars for three days of Parikrama .

Many in our troupe were planning to walk the whole parikrama and did not wait for the pony business .

We would see them slowly walking later in the drizzly rain sitting on horses with our cameras slung on our shoulders and our Tibetian horsemen cursing the snorting ponies .

The first days trek to Derapuk on northern side of mount Kailas from Southern face in Drachen takes around 10 hours .

We pass the granite walls of western side of the mountain .

The trek is mild to medium hard with gentle slopes ,streams which could be waded and no steep climbs .

Rains and at times direct mountain suns exhausted one but even trekking itself on day one wasnt impossible for an untrained person .

The north face had primitive lodgings

Dirapuk gave magnificient views of mount kailas specially in moonlight or during sunrise .

Hot food was available in lodgings though common toilets made one reach out to stony foothills around to finish ones needs in the stark cold of the dark .

Panting exhausted one would reach back the tiny rooms allotted for the night .

The neighing of the tied horses the eternal silence of the great mountain looming in the inky black sky with a lone moon shining like a jewel on its head were sights and sounds which were impossible sensory inputs for any fortune .

The east face it seems is glimpsed only in inner parikrama near Gowri kund day two and east face too amongst many peaks .

That night i had physical discomforts like mild breathlessness recurrent bowel movements a wrong place to get actually .

And above all the fear of the tough second days climb to Dolma pass the toughest in parikrama with nothing to bring you back to civilisation in a crisis

All this made me decide to return back to Drachen next morning aborting my parikrama .

Many did decide but in my group maybe two or three only .

Some had stayed back in Drachen itself in the luxury of the hotel there which tempted me back too .

I have no regrets as the completion of parikrama needs more mental strength than muscle power and i was lacking in that .

My wife had only one goal and shook off all doubts as she continued into Dolma pass next morning .

Initially they would climb in horses very steep incline to reach the pass and later only trek as horses can slip and are led by horsemen who also guide you .

Premila had a smiling Tibetian lady to take her along .

She told me later the reaching Dolma pass was very tough and she was in a trance and strange mental frame where she felt she was in an unearthly place .

The pass itself was full of Buddhist flags fluttering in the rocks and one could see the aqaumarine waters of the Gowri kund lake down below .

The steep climb down was exhausting and it was dark by the time they could get back on thier horses to reach Zuthulpuk where they would halt for second days night .

The next day was relatively gentle trek from Zithulpuk back to yama dwar and Drachen where we waited for the yatris to return

Sir C.P.Ramaswamy Iyer

Sir CP Ramaswami Iyer former Dewan of Thiruvananthapuram ....

Tall handsome he was an impressing personality with great intelligence .

July 12 to 25 .1947 ,are important dates in the history of erstwhile Travancore kingdom .

His Royal Highness Sri Chitra Thirunal Maharaja was an young man .

The Diwan of Travncore Sir C.P and the Maharajas mother were the triumvirate who discussed and decided on matters of state .

It was Sir CP s ideas and projects that made Travancore a rich independent state

But he was also blamed for his dictatorial behavior and developing a police state .

The Congress with its freedom movement never considered Sir CP as being favorable to its freedom struggles and the communists hated him for his violent ending of the Punnapura Vayalar struggle where more than 1000 people died .

At the same time he was the force behind the Maharaja declaring temples open to all Hindus a radical reform those days .

The famous Temple entry proclamation which was much appreciated even by the Mahatma .

CP was known as a ruthless administrator .

History blames him for trying his best to influence the Maharaja and his mother in not joining with India when the British had decided to free the nation shortly .

As a relatively independent nation with its own port in partnership with Cochin ,

Plenty of free trade with foreign countries ,and a rich kingdom with good income its possible for Travanvore for considering so

Most of its industries were started by

Sir CP himself .

In fact most public sector industries of later Kerala like Indian Aluminium company ,

The FACT which was started with help of America in defiance of British irritation on this ,

Factory to manufacture Titanium Dioxide ,

Travancore plywoods at Punalur ,

Travancore Rayons at Perumbavoor ,

Aluminium cables factory at Kundara

Were all started in his tenure !

All that succeeding Indian state Govts of Kerala has ever done is to close many of them .

He developed pallivasal hydroelectric projects and many other dams in the state for power generation and irrigation purposes .

He developed the Travancore University with the Maharaja as chancellor and himself the Vice Chancellor .

Trivandrum Art gallery was expanded by him in 1937 .

Travancore was first part of India with nationalized roads and the 88 km stretch road to Kanyakumari was built of concrete .

Capital punishment was abolished

Adult franchise introduced

First women district judge was appointed .

Ms. Anna Chandy who later became first women high court judge .

Midday meal scheme for poor school children was started by Sir CP and even the famous CM of Tamilnadu M.G.Ramachandran praised this later and followed him .

Several states would follow this later .

What really happened in july 1947 ?

A declaration of Independence by Travancore was signed by Maharaja on july 18 1947 .

There are different opinions on this .

Leftist Historians like Ramachandra Guha felt Sir CP was the villain acting in consort with Britain who wanted to continue their hold on rich monazite resources of Kerala for their nuclear programme , and that CP was in touch with Md Ali Jinnah to hold power against India .

But its also felt that Sir CP wanted just more autonomy and not total independence as a seperate state .

On July 23 talks between CP and powers in Travancore and Indian Govt to be formed made him almost agree ,but for the Maharaja still not deciding .

The Nizam of Hyderabad and Goa under the Portuguese and Kashmir under Hari Singh were other kingdoms still undecided .

But an attempt on life of Sir CP by left forces which he escaped with stab wounds made him speeden up Travancore joining India .

Was Sir Chetput Pattabhiraman Ramaswamy Iyer shortly called Sir CP the autocratic traitor of India ?

or was he a clever able and strict administrator who acted on pressure !

A question needing deeper research .

Post Independence Sir CP went all over the world held important positions , taught in universities in US ,

In 1966 he had gone for researching for a book to the UK where he collapsed and died during the course of an interview instantaneously .

In short active till his last breath .

Will History and should history judge Sir CP Rsmasawamy Iyer more benevolently ?

12Sandhya Menon, Biju Sreedharan and 10 others

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Angkor vat

The Anghkor Vat 

I learn is the biggest Hindu temple ever built by mankind .

it was more a city than a temple complex with more than 200 hectares of which temple as such is around 9 hectares ,the outer moat limited in 82 hectares,rectangle of 1.5 x1.3 km ,its orientation is strangely to West probably because it was built as a Vishnu temple which have a predilection to the west .started in 12 th century AD by Suryavarman II its construction continued for more years to come ,later by 14th century it was changed into a Theravada Buddhist temple and principle deity of Vishnu shifted from its central site to one of the turrets on one side .

The temple or more the city complex was built in lines with Hindu mythological beliefs of the mythical mountains of the Gods the Devas mount meru itself and its aspiring turrets surrounded by water in moats of the churning oceans and the raging seas .

The balustrades of the moat bridges were made of naga serpent heads and bodies which was a recurrent find in most Khmer temple architecture

We owe great gratitude to the French archaeologists and historians who painstakingly lived in these wet forested ruins meticulously discovering these wonders unerringly noting their details poring over the minutiae in scientific scrutiny unparalleled by any such similar expeditions while the wars raged on revolutions massacres and khmer killing fields ,were they en consed during these trying times in those wet daring forests with crumbling edifices of history falling into pieces of decay but heralding the beauty of art in history and beliefs of people 

Henri Mohout french naturalist visit to Cambodia in 1860 and his details created a great interest on the ancient temples of Cambodia ,though the 

Portuguese ,Spaniard and Japanese earlier had all recorded glimpses of greatness in the jungles 

Antonio da madelenia a Portuguese friar visited monument in 1589

he told the historian Diogo do Couto in 1589, “that it is not possible to describe it with a pen, particularly since it is like no other building in the world. It has towers and decoration and all the refinements which the human genius can conceive of.”

the khmer pot pol regime killed almost 60 % of Cambodian population between 1975 and 79 and its remnants held back till 1999 

cheance and Evans modern archaeologists did laser archaeology using helicopters and found Angkor wat a city as big as Berlin .

Our first monument in Siem Reap started off with Anghkor wat 5.5 km from the tourist town .

After getting the tickets for 3 days we took our tuk tuk into the Angkor wat area ,alighted and walked in the twilight of pre dawn following the tourist hordes armed with cameras ,tripods ,light fixtures and people with totebags ,knapsacks 'hats caps overalls .

The air was crispy not yet humid as the day would turn into cool winds gazing as we crossed the wide white plastic bridge almost floating on the moat ,and crossed vast expanse of green and bushes to reach the two large ponds in front of the Angkor vat turrets .

In the dawn light thier dark silhouttes were shrouded in blackness only thier outlines stood against the starless skies .

Slowly imperciptible dawn crept in and woke the images with slow stretching and then the temple outline became clearer though sunrise that day was no dramatic event it was just incontinuity with a flurry of clicks from hundreds of cameras as they clicked probably some of the most photographed monuments in the world at this time of the day .

With the sun up we moved into the temple itself walking up its long corridors our guide explaining the sandstone etchings with whole corridors on Ramayana'Mahabharata,bhagwatham,

khmer chams fighting, Suryavarman, dancing apsaras etc .

The sqaures ,balustrades,libraries,corner temples it was a massive temple unsurpassed any we had ever seen

Zoom meetings

Zoom meetings ..

Corona has made paradigm changes in the way we live in this world .

Amongst so many such changes I would put Zoom cloud meetings up in the list .

From meetings in a conference table with the boss looking at you making your presentation  ,where u chat with the girls on both sides, or spill hot coffee u took  for the meeting to make you appear meeting fatigued .

Abroad its the ubiquitous Starbucks coffee which one keeps sucking even when  empty ,label you see ,it sort of tells about you as the hard working mean eyed executive lasting on a starbucks through his or her busy day .

Its another matter that you sneaked into the cafeteria before you came to the meeting and wolfed a big fat buttered pizza like a true blue glutton .

All that was in pre covid days !

Today its all Zoom .

The Chinese released Corona on you as well as the Zoom .

In the early days many entered the zoom meetimgs half expecting a chink eyed Tsing Tsang to spring from behind the mobile or the laptop as it was said the Chinese knew all behind zooms .

But these days we wont flutter an eyelid if we do see one ,and may even ask him to get us a hot cup of bat soup ooops .

But the real fun in Zoom is watching the participants as long as one doesnt do what most do .

Many join the meeting in the  last minute dishivelled and if more than 55 have thier children guiding them into it .

For a few minutes one can see the ceiling ,the floor,the pants of the participant if hes lucky to wear one !

Arre its at home bhai .

Then  the nerdy teen disappears to play his games or twiddle in instagram and like a shipwrecked sailor ones left all alone  .

Many grin into the atmosphere vacantly making multiple greetings till they find all the tiny windows of dishivelled hairdos (covid no haircuts ) or unshaven chins and grey streaks for the ladies and  hurriedly smudged lipstick most looking like what the cat brought home cant hear them .

I love those windows with faces peeping like a poor mans Republic TV the best one can get if Arnob doesnt want you in his show .

And then the great mute unmute foreplay starts before any zoom meeting .

Most press the unmute button not knowing their conversations are heard like in an FM  radio .

And thus we hear S calling for his wife J

 can u get me that kattan ? 

 ie black tea for non mallus

 I need some energy to face this meeting 

and J answering 

didnt I tell you the tea dust is over 2 days back !!

And the sheepish grin of the rest of participants in knowing the macroeconomic details of S who in flesh and blood meetings was a formidable almost dangerous guy with an unerving presence .

Zoom does make you equals .

And R never realises hes on prime time viewing as he digs with three and half fingers on his right side of nose looks at the booty and goes to the left till he suspects he has become a snoot y celebrity !

These days Home is definitely not the best place to scratch where you itch ,you could become viral buddy .

And then the meeting starts with whispers murmurs ,guffaws, curses from those who are yet to grapple the mechanics of muting .

Suddenly G gets up obviously to go to the loo ,luckily he doesnt take his mobile with the zoom meet (tk God for small mercies ) along but places it on the table when the camera points to his striped purple underwear worn over a classy shirt and tie .

Poor man never knew his dark underbelly would be the talk of the town .

And then theres M who keeps cud chewing all through the meeting .

Most participants are trying to find out what he has been chewing for so long .

So in a zoom if participants stare hard dont think they liked your speech

 they may have just spotted that your zip was open .

The picture is from online nothing to do with this post

I can remove pic if objected

Happy zooming

Tied in Ties

The Tiring Ties 

I started wearing a tie for work only in UAE and continued till I left Brunei .

In initial days I was not very adept at tying one ,I was taught by my friend Sushil Daniel an opthalmic surgeon in Cochin who with a Stephanian past was well versed .

He came home to teach me before I left to Dubai 😁

When I landed in Abudhabi and later was taken to Al ain and checked into 

Hotel Hilton as planned by my hospital by  official Sidhu who recieved me .

 I  told him to wait and  had a bath and quickly adorned a ready made knotted tie I had  kept for an emergency to go to hospital to place my credentials .

Within days i used to knot ties in my sleep and also got a big collection as gifts or as my shopping as ties were sold in so many varieties in the malls there .

Come winter I started wearing jackets and coats and its collection too grew .

In Brunei the tie business continued ,though jackets werent needed much with its climate expect for formal occasions like meeting the royal highness or when making a presentation in conferences .

I hated to wear a two piece suit and preferred a suit over a jeans in colder climes or for grand evenings .

When working in Tawam Hospital ,Al Ain,UAE we had for a short time a medical Director of our Oncology dept Dr Sanjay Jain who was an American citizen and selected by John Hopkins group which managed the hospital .

Usually American hospitals preferred more comfortable scrubs or even casual wear but our Sanjay was old school .

He insisted all doctors wear the prescribed full sleeved white coat with tie .

Omg

It wasnt bad in the super cooled interior and in winter even outside but not in summer .

Tawam had a huge laundry to take care of the white coats not the ties 

Nowadays ties and coats are frowned as being transmitters of cross infections

In Brunei it was UK style always .

Doctors wore ties to work every day .

Somehow I always felt strangled and used to ease my tie whenever I had the oppurtunity .

I preferred a blazer without tie on informal evenings .

In India one just wore neat pants and shirt ie it .

Whatever we wore it was the work done which was more important .

fathers day

 know its an out of focus photo of me and my father but thats just how it is .

My memories of my father who left me at my age of 10 five decades back is also out of focus .

But strangely this father of mine left a lot of him in my thoughts in those ten years ,imagine how much he would have if he had lived longer !

I remember with vividity my father as a very intelligent person , a sanskrit scholar and a classical music listener , though he worked in Tamilnadu Secretariat as a junior officer in the Home department .

I do remember our predominantly Tamil brahmin neighbour friends in Mylapore Madras ,where we lived then coming home and asking him doubts on Sanskrit scriptures .

And when he died carrying his body which in those times when caste was quite important wasnt done .

I also remember the local milkman drunkard who was known for his uncouth behaviour specially in the evenings bringing a garland and standing with tears in my fathers funeral and crying ,telling us Ayya was kind to me always.
we never knew that .

I do remember him taking me to his office once , to his canteen and me spending a whole day with him as he jotted in his ebullient script and handwritten notes in the files ,said to be admired by his senior officers and even by the minister .

Nothing much for someone who had no time to get down from the stage as most prizes and awards went to him in school and college those days, though he had so many problems to face ,like walking long distances and eating just a plantain for lunch because of the circumstances he lived then .

I remember him wearing just a couple of well pressed neat pants and shirts even though he could afford more and walking long distances to bus stops ,to save money to send to his family in kerala .

I think unconciously he passed on the message of frugality,sincerity,hardwork,cleverness,andscholarship to me and my sister though I hardly fit in to all that .

I do remember the kindness and soft words and never an angry word, leave alone anything physical on me and those lessons still stay .

I remember the myraid illnesses he suffered and the clinics and hospitals he visited and that might just have rubbed in a bit of empathy to me in my work later .

He may have been an out of focus dad who just lived 10 years of my life ,but he remains so much in my mind and heart every second of my life not only on this fathers day .
This is just an excuse to pen this on him .