Battle of the Bulge

 The Battle of the Bulge .

For a long time in my fifties I was a fixed 94 Kg , which isn't anything to be proud of , but it isn't anything to be ashamed of too ,

I do indulge in gastronomic adventures to satisfy my soul and not  sacrifice much to shave off weight .

I agree .

Iam not a Diabetic or hyperlipedmic .

My post Covid days in 2020  when I lost a rewarding 17 kg and had  a Speckled beard to give a sagely hungry appearance was my best in recent times .

 But wife promptly flung into an action to retrieve a slim Hari back into a rounded one in a revolutionary zeal  ,turning me  back to the 94 kg and my plump original ,by feeding me all my favourites in which she had a doctorate .

And she succeeded so fast too .

That's OK , as long as it stayed there ,but then slowly my weight  rose ,

It shockingly glided over the hundred and never stopped going up 

I was like ISROS sucessful rockets going over into  stratospheric heights in my weight business .

 I blamed all the weighing machines in the world had gone berserk .

Naturally those who had seen my FB posts will smirk ,

What do you expect with all those food you post ,cook and fill yourself with ?

You think you will be a Milind Soman or a Junior Ambani ?

You had no choice buddy .

Lard is your birthright .

But in reality dear people .

 I only have a breakfast which was just two eggs ,but now becoming a little heavier with some snacking at 3pm and a couple of chapatis for dinner .

Poor me 😕

All those dinner varieties I post  ,the Biriyanis I  make ,the ice creams ,faloodas  sweets and Liquid temptations I swallow and post in FB  are not regular guys and gals .

Believe me 🙄

 whether you believe it or not that's the whole truth my Lords .

  I unfailingly walk for an hour or swim again for an hour at least six days a week 

so dont lecture me on 

move your butt maan !!

Still my dalliance with the weighing machine at this ripe age is obscene , bordering on rape almost .

Most of my shirts are bursting buttons and barnacles  

I sweat like a pig , 

I avoid stairs like a frightened mouse 

And gasp in frustration if I have to climb some .

 I generally avoid getting on a weighing machine 

Why invite depressive readings ?

Iam apologetic in crowded lifts and joke 

you see I can make it go faster if going down .

I definitely expect people these days  to make first comments on seeing me  .

 Oh you put on so much weight !

 is standard fare I am countered with

One smart alec added  and 

Fatter ... yaas Fatter and Darker too !

As  if people remembered my slimmer fairer days , but they definitely do seem to my darker and  fatter one with pleasure .

My Paunch an entirely personal pelf for a man has been growing unhindered and shortly the  ground view for me  may require a mirror or my mobile .

As I try to paper over  my obese indignities  by using labels like prosperity, happiness not limited by limitations, Internally I fret and fume on my losing 

BATTLE OF THE BULGE .

Ps :  Avoid the advices please

You are allowed to laugh at my predicaments , even roll on the floor is legal 

but no advices please